Another Word for my Big Girl

Last night we were all crowded around the fireplace. We had eaten dinner and now had moved on to popcorn and chocolate. Polar Express was on the television screen and it felt like you wanted it to feel at Christmas with your family...

Caroline had made it very clear with her body language that she wanted in on some of the popcorn. So, Shep had been giving her pieces of the fluffy white parts. A little while later I moved closer to her just to begin loving on her. Shep had stopped feeding her for a while to watch the movie. I leaned over her and asked her, "Do you want some more popcorn"? What I then heard was....."oppp- corn". I sat there for a second (kind of not really believing it...and thinking to myself..."I must have heard what I wanted to hear") So then I asked her, "Did you just say popcorn"? She smiled so broadly!!!
I asked her to repeat it again for me and she did...it wasn't as great...but still the same word. Then I made Shep get down next to us and she said it again....

It was wonderful....another awesome moment!! Merry Christmas!!

This all comes on the heels of my bad day. For my close friends who know how I deal with things, this isn't a surprise. Christmastime and Caroline's birthday are the two most difficult times of the year with her. For some reason I have always assumed her healing would occur on one of these days. As you know...it hasn't. So each year that passes with no healing tends to bring on the doubts and defeating thoughts. I can start to drown in them and act as if I have no hope. Well, this was very much one of those days...

A little after lunch, I was cleaning my kitchen. This phrase "an alter where you are" kept coming through my mind. I didn't really know what to do with it or what it meant. So I just kind of kept thinking about it. After the kitchen was cleaned I knew I needed to pray and get in the Word. My attitude was stinking up the whole house. I got my Bible and devotion book, then I began to look for paper. I didn't really know what for, except that I felt like I needed it. So, I finally found paper and sat down to study and pray. The next thing I knew...I had written "An altar where you are" at the top of the page...then I just began to write this poem.

An altar is a place of surrender
laying burdens and fears down.
Offering yourself as a vessel
As He pours peace on you like a crown.

The altar doesn't have to be in a church
with cushions, stairs, or rail.
It can take the form of any place
when you need to kneel and wail.

The altar is a meeting place
where hearts are comforted and hurts proclaimed.
Jesus promises to hear and answer
As we draw near and call on His name.

At home in my chair as many doubts invade,
my hopes and His voice seem so far.
I feel His voice call as I battle inside,
"Child, fall on the altar where you are".

Let me just say...I don't normally do this. But it really encouraged me. He did it all and happened to use me in the process.

I praise Him with all that I am!! I am in awe of You, Lord!!