Day 1

Here we go...we are off to the races.

Day 1 of summer break.

If you know me, then you know that I have dreaded this day every year. It is not the typical parent's dread....you know...having the kids all summer. It is the kind of dread that involves the thought of being locked inside for the next 10 weeks.

There are many adjustments that have to be made when God gives you a handicapped child. Caroline happens to be severe. She is the size of an almost 7 year old...but she has to be cared for like Zeke. Feedings, diaper changes, and transportation issues are never ending.

Please don't take this as complaining....it is all I know. Shep and I have done it every day of her life. But when you throw Ava (4 year old) and Zeke (1 year old) into the mix....it gets interesting....and hard to manage....especially when you want to get out of the house with them.

Three children under the age of 7 is already hard...but the disability throws a giant sized weight with it that usually makes me want to crumble under the pressure.

However, I sit here this morning....and I am o.k.

For some of you, you don't realize how big of a deal this really is. Some of you....do.

God has taken away my dread. That is NOT to say that I don't have moments of apprehension. But the dread.....the pity......the hidden anger......GONE!

This is a miracle. I have lived through 7 summers and not had this peace that has so filled me. Let me clarify that I believe it was always available to me....I just was not at a place to receive it.

Anyway, pray for me.

Pray for my children. (Ava has already been in here 5 times asking me if she can wear a skirt today.....can I scream??)

I just want to boast in my GOD. He has lifted my head. He has set my feet on a rock...and for once I don't want to jump off of it. He has offered a peace to me that for once I don't want to trade in for self-pity.

I am resolved. I am determined. This is going to be a great summer. I'm actually excited!!

God is doing some cool things that I hope He allows me to share with you soon. Please pray specifically for discernment, clarity, and understanding. Shep and I are expecting to hear God speak to us about a specific matter and we want to recognize His voice and be ready to act.