Take Notice....Not Pity

Let me preface this entire post by saying: I AM NOT PROMOTING PITY; BUT ENCOURAGEMENT!

Shep and I received some sweet encouragement this week from two separate friends.

It was a different kind of encouragement.

You may not even see it as encouragement.

BUT let me just say....WE WERE SO BLESSED AND ENCOURAGED BY THE VULNERABILITY AND SINCERITY OF THESE FRIENDS.

They did something difficult.
They "took notice".
They called and relayed what God impressed to them.
They opened themselves to fully feel and experience what is often pushed away because it is uncomfortable and awkward.

Their boldness prompted me to look for ways to "take notice" of others and encourage them in their walks of life.

As parents of a severely disabled child, we have learned how to manage our lives. We do what we do in methodical fashion. We are so used to the way things are that we don't stop....it is kind of like we run on auto-pilot.

The emotional burden that we carry is so deeply personal and private that we only share the details of it with the closest friends, family, and our Lord Jesus. They are the only ones who have earned the right to be trusted with our heartaches, hurts, and fears.

I could talk endlessly about the physical strain that we deal with...
-constantly carrying a child who is almost 9 years old
-lifting her stroller/wheelchair in and out of every destination we come to
-looking for private places to change her diaper
-wiping her mouth from excessive drool and poor head control
-feeding her 4 times a day through a g-tube in her belly

I could also talk endlessly about the emotional strain that it takes on us...
-the stares from people everywhere we go
-looking at other children her age and what they are doing
-second-guessing how we discipline her
-having two other children who need our attention also

There are countless other things that we don't really discuss. It is just our lives. It is what we have been called to right now. I unapologetic-ally stand on the fact that we believe God has told us that He plans to heal her. Lots of people are uncomfortable with that. I don't know what to tell you. God is God and He does as He pleases. But until He does heal her.....
we must carry on. We must keep placing one foot in front of the other.

I would be lying if I told you that there isn't a bit of sadness that comes with each day. Anyone that has a loved one who is handicapped, disabled, or chronically ill would probably agree. This doesn't mean you don't passionately love that person. You do. You just wish things were different for them.

Anyway, I am getting far away from my point here..............................................................................

When one of our friends called he told Shep about an event that happened to him that in some small way helped him identify with how we must feel everyday and on a much larger scale. His son had his first t-ball game. After several weeks of practice it was game time. 10 of the 12 players took the field. But NOT his boy. His boy sat the bench. The friend and father became upset, angry and sad. Not for himself...but for his boy.

Why??

Because he knew that his boy wanted to be out there doing what the other kids were doing but he couldn't. He had been told to sit the bench.

He told us immediately that we came to his mind. Here he was sad that his son could not play during the game. But how would he feel if his son never got to do what the other kids did. What if he was always the one who was left out?

His tender heart and vulnerability led him to pick up the phone and call.

He relayed his story and just wanted to encourage us in our walk.

His message was simple..."I can't imagine what ya'll deal with everyday."

That was it.

Simple and sweet....to the point.

But oh so powerful!

Someone took notice. Not pity.....but notice.

They were able to appreciate the scope of their situation by looking at someone else's situation.

Couldn't we all do this?

Take a step back, kick judgment to the curb and truly encourage some folks we know.

I have so many people that I admire for various reasons.....their resolve, their passion, their determination, their kindness, their hospitality, their sense of style:-)


Why don't I tell them?

Is it pride?

Does praising the efforts of others make me feel like I lack in certain areas?

Can I not be ok enough with my own deficiencies that I would be willing to learn to imitate others who deal better than I?

I think that the body of Christ would be so much stronger if believers truly used the" iron sharpening iron" method instead of tearing others down to make ourselves feel better.

Proverbs 10:11 "The words of the godly are a life-giving fountain..."

Let's go be some living water to someone today!!!