Happy Birthday To Me!

I got home from St. Vincent just 2 days shy of my 34th birthday.

I mentioned in my last post that I came home and picked up the heavy load that I had left behind...and then some.

As soon as I walked into the house from my trip I found out three things: the remote control was lost, Ava had cut her hair, and Zeke was sick with a high fever.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

See what I mean?

That doesn't even include the tiny detail that my sweet mama (who had been helping keep my kids) had to be hospitalized for diverticulitis while I was gone. Thankfully, she is doing better but she is facing surgery soon.:(

Last of all, Shep sold his motorcycle on the day I came home. It was a good thing but it made me kind of sad all the same. We (like so many others) are in some financial squeezes so every little thing helps. He and I had so many good times riding together. The Lord and I had some great times riding together. However, I trust Shep and his discernment so I believe God will honor our obedience and hopefully there will be riding days again.

So you can see that life around here has been tumultuous at best.

On my actual birthday I woke up to an even sicker little boy and had to take him to the doctor. After another positive strep test and a visit to the ENT, we have decided to get his tonsils and adenoids out...this week.

I know I am rambling a bit but I just wanted to be very transparent about life....my life. Things are NOT at all the way I want. I have told you of a few minor things that have affected us but there are other things too. We have family members and friends who are hurting deeply and suffering consequences of past and present mistakes. We hurt with them. It hurts to watch them.

I look at my life right now and I didn't expect to have such a full plate of uncertainty at 34 years old. Somewhere I bought into the lie that all would be figured out and most everything would be rosy.

Not so.

I feel really burdened these days but at the same time really, really blessed.

God has given me some cool gifts this past year~

Joy~ even when I may have tears...
Peace~ even when I can't make the numbers work
Love~ even when I don't like
Patience~ even when the days are long
Goodness~ even when I want to react badly

Anyone who knows me can attest that I am not perfect. I can be rude, self-seeking, prideful, arrogant, vain, wimpy, critical, and mean. But...I am happy to say that the more time I spend in God's Word and on my face in prayer.....I see less and less of that girl. He gives me His traits. I become like him. He loves us so much. He gives us the gifts that can never spoil or rot. They are for building up and honoring Him.

Happy Birthday To Me!

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 "We are hard pressed on every side but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed,
16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far out weighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."