Confessions of a Shop-a-holic

It's true. I am that girl that loves a great deal. It makes me happy. Isn't it sad that I try to find that kind of happiness in a 50% off item? I don't mean to make more of this than it really is. Shopping and looking for good deals is not a bad thing...but when it comes between you and the One you want to know better, then it is time to go.
I really want to go deeper with God. I have been asking Him to talk to me and fill me in ways I haven't been before. Well, last night I couldn't sleep and I woke up at 4:15 (yes daddy, I really am writing this blog at 5:30 a.m.). I got in the shower and suddenly God began to speak. It wasn't what I wanted to hear....no miraculous words of knowledge, no inspirational truths to start my day, not even encouragement about Caroline. What I heard was "cut every credit card you have up and throw them away...gasp!!! Yes girls, even those great ones we only use when we can get an extra 15-20 percent off. I just stood there in the shower and let it sink in. OF COURSE the enemy started saying, "well just save them and put them away" (can you believe..I was tempted) but NO!! I decided, and it was a done deal!! I did ask God if it was o.k. for Shep to keep our main credit card that is mine...he said that was fine. Basically, Shep keeps it and if I want to use it bad enough I have to go ask him. For those of you who think this is somewhat subserviant to go ask Shep for little things...sorry, He is kind of my boss...but a very sweet one. And it has been proven, I can't be trusted!!
So-out of the shower I come. Shep comes dragging himself into the bathroom. I begin my daily regamin of getting ready. God stopped me..."go now and do it in front of him"...ouch!!! Are you sure God??? So, I did! There was no pomp and circumstance (I really wanted to capture the difficulty of this moment for me by something dramatic) but Shep simply smiled. My sweet husband was even sad for me......................................................................just like it should be for one you love to watch you give up something you love.

Now, I am NOT saying that I still won't shop. But I will take it way more seriously...even praying about it! (doesn't the Bible say we should pray about everything?)

Just maybe God is removing unnecessary things so I can be more filled with Him! I keep asking Him to trust me with more of Him when He may be making me more trustworthy.

Anyway, last Thursday was a marker for me with letting go of bitterness. Today is another marker for me. I cut up an "idol" in my life. Oh man, all of this was done in a 6 day period. I knew I felt tired.

On a serious note--the Lord spoke to me about all of this without any condemnation. I felt His love, His joy, and His discipline all at the same time. I am His girl and He wants what is best.

So-I am going to be a BIG GIRL about this (shout out to Tess) and Deana, I will probably depend on you for those coupons from Ann Taylor Loft and The Children's Place. But today is a new day...I even feel a little lighter...my wallet definitely does!!! :>)