How God works...with me

I don't know how any of you feel about dreams, visions, prophetic words and the like...but if you know me or our story at all (you can go back and read the beginning of our story) you know that we have come to accept some of these as means of encouragement from God.

Before Caroline was born and my desperation for God...I didn't really think that God spoke through or used dreams, visions, or prophetic words. Not that I didn't believe it exactly, just that I didn't think about it. No one I knew ever talked about God using those means in their lives. Please understand...I was born and raised in church so if someone were to have talked about it...I would have known.

Anyway, He has graciously stretched our faith and truly pursued us to believe Him...especially to believe Him in an "out-of-the-box" kind of way. I don't know anyone else that is believing Him daily and waiting in faith for Him to perform a miraculous healing.

This isn't to say that Shep and I (or our countless friends and family standing with us) are prideful about our faith. We just simply have TOO MUCH that we believe that God has told us to NOT believe it. It has been in this TOO MUCH that over these past 6+ years that we have received countless dreams, visions, and prophetic words regarding Caroline and her healing.

So, all of that to say, God has used it again.

My prayer life has been full of petitions to God for encouragement.

In the latest installment of enemy attack...he has used specific tactics that involve guilt, questions, and fear to try to discourage me and cripple my faith.

I am rebuking him every day...every hour. But, in my petitions to God I have talked to Him about these things... these guilty feelings, the questions I have and the fear that grips me. I KNOW that because I am HIS child, He wants to hear about it. He wants me to tell Him that I trust Him....that I hope in Him....that I love Him and that I hurt. He wants it all----the good, bad and the ugly.

It is funny...I don't get an immediate answer to these things during prayer. Usually I will sense a peace and an affirmation that I have just done the right thing. The answers or encouragement will usually come later...

Last Friday....someone called me with a specific "word of encouragement"...regarding Caroline.

Today, Monday the 30th...someone called me with a dream of Caroline. In her dream Caroline was attempting to walk and sit alone.

Now, what does this mean for me?

Assurance....sweet assurance that my Jesus heard my plea. That HE knows exactly how to encourage me...usually in the most un-expected ways.

Did I expect either of these things? NO

Did I hope to hear from God? YES

Do I now have to accept that these were gifts of encouragement from God? YES

That last one is especially hard. Our natural tendency is to "explain away" things like this. We will write things off as coincidence....

I have to choose! God has given...will I accept?

How many times have we chosen to believe in coincidence rather than providence??