GIANTS

I hate the wilderness.

I am certain I will love and appreciate all of the lessons that I am learning here...but I hate it here.

It is no surprise that I have watched the movie "Facing the Giants" two times this week. I tend to do that. I need to see something encouraging or I need to hear something uplifting.

Although that movie was not the best made and it did not achieve accolades for the actors....the message was and still is HUGE to me.

Stand.

Believe.

God can do the impossible.

I cried when I saw it the first time and I have cried every subsequent time since.

The part in the movie that I have identified with most this week revolves around the main character, Grant Taylor. Everything in his life is falling apart and he feels himself giving in to that despair.

His team can't win, his car won't work, his stove is broken, the dryer only works half of the time, there is a dead mouse hidden somewhere stinking up his house, he can't provide his wife with children and there are people (even a friend) trying to get him fired.

He confides to God that it feels like "giants of fear and failure are standing above him just waiting to crush him".

BINGO....ding ding ding...

That is exactly how I feel. Giants are looming....I am grasping for hope...my feet are slipping...it looks dark...

I know that God can put a sling shot of hope and victory in my hands and skill me to kill these giants just as David killed Goliath.

I am calling on Him.
I am clinging to Him.
I am looking for His salvation.

I just don't see it. I just see the giants.

God of all creation, you know your servant. I am so tired. I am drained almost dry. Please send deliverance. Please send provision. Please increase my faith and give me the "want-to" to fight. I don't want to right now. I want to give up. I want to quit. Your resurrection power can change me. I surrender to you again. I say I trust you but I am so embarrassed to realize I must not trust you much at all. Will you show up? Will you come to our rescue? You are God and you can do as you please. If we have been wrong about Caroline for all of this time....that is OK. Help my heart to rest in the truth...whatever that is. Nourish me with Your Word. I ask forgiveness for doubt, self-pity, anger, bitterness, and apathy. You deserve better than that from me. I am forgiven because you took my place. Help me rejoice in that. I love you...