Tonight

I have the heard the cliche "the best way to fight is on your knees" my entire life.

I know it is something we church folks say to make us feel better about praying. Sometimes praying doesn't FEEL like enough....but it is.....it is way past enough.

I haven't really known the full meaning of this cliche until recently.

I mean, seriously...how do you fight on your knees?

Isn't that awfully vulnerable?
Doesn't that leave you exposed and open?
The posture of being on our knees makes us feel like beggars more than warriors, right?

Tonight I am entering this fight....literally on my knees.

I have been battling serious heaviness, despair, depression, and hopelessness. As I got real with some people who knew how to help me, their plan was simple: we must hit our knees.

I am fairly experienced with depression and the like. What I am dealing with now seems deeper and more intense than I have felt before. This pastor friend of mine has explained to me that the enemy purposely attacks those he feels threatened by.

Honestly, I can't imagine it.
Why would the enemy care about me?
I am not a mighty warrior.....yet.

I get the feeling I am in training and this is part of it.

Tonight, I will be on my knees. I will be surrounded by some amazing people laying hands on me and interceding in ways I have probably never experienced. I am nervous but truly excited and ready to be set free. I am not crazy and sometimes we can't fight alone. Although the enemy wants us to stay that way...alone. He does his best work then...when we are alone.

God has called Shep and I to believe him for a supernatural healing of our little girl.
God has called us to tell everyone we know that God still does the impossible.
God has called us to pray and lead others in praying for revival for our church.
God has called us to not be satisfied with the status quo of Christian living.
God has called us to think out of the box.
God has called us to encourage others in their faith.
God has called us to teach others His Word.
God has called us to eat His Word and take Him up on it.
God has called us to live our faith as well as claim it.
God has called us to record our journey for others to see the miracle in it all.
God has called us to champion others in their walk with Him.
God has called us to ask others to stand with us.

Should I be surprised the enemy wants me depressed, despairing, hopeless, and heavy of heart?

There is too much at stake.

Colossians 2: 13-15
When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us, he took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.

Ephesians 2:13-17
But now in Christ Jesus you who were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.