Chief

The last 3 days have been really hard for me...and my poor family.

I have been in a foul mood.


I am sure that the enemy doesn't like it that I am praying more, learning more, yearning to go deeper with God, developing boldness in witnessing BUT.....some things don't fall on his slimy shoulders.

This foulness has been ALL me!


I have been short-tempered, self-focused, lazy, gripey, and just short of mean.
(my kids may have said that I went way past mean :)


Anyway, I haven't wanted to utter a prayer or flip open the Bible since Thursday.


I noticed that I felt down right yucky. I noticed that I was being completely led by my feelings. I was not grounding anything in truth, nor did I want to!!

So Saturday morning God spoke to me through the megaphone of my daily scripture flipper that sits next to my sink.

The verse was 1 Timothy 1:15 "This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief."



Normally I would read that, ponder it, and move on.


Saturday.....I couldn't move on.


God distinctly (and sweetly) showed me my sinfulness. The past few days have been spent with me exerting little control over my fickle self.

And if left to self...............I will self destruct......sooner or later.


So God let me get good and sick of myself and then showed me who I am on my worst days.

A sinner.......
Chief of sinners.......


God was just calling a spade a spade. That is what He graciously does. He waits on us to repent so we can move on.

I did....and I am.

Hebrews 4:12 "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."