Needy

I absolutely hate that word.

But I find that I perfectly fit that word many days.

What can I say? I am a woman.

I FEEL everything.

I noticed my personal alarms sounding off recently.

I am in a funk.

As Thanksgiving passed and Christmas approaches, I find myself feeling a lot more like Scrooge than the festive girl I want to be. I want to be excited! I want to be expectant! I want to enjoy every moment and savor sweetness of this season.

After all....it is the miraculous season, right?

But I mainly just feel numb.

Anyway, like I said, my alarms were blaring in my head. They were reminding me to get into God's Word. The Holy Spirit was telling me not to be mislead by these deceptive feelings but sometimes I put Him off and just soak in my own sadness.

This is where I have been.

Who am I kidding?

This is where I am.

As I forced myself to get into God's Word I went to a passage that my mom had spoken to encourage me.

It was out of 2 Corinthians. Verses 9-10 say this, "but he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Do you know the definition of the word sufficient?

I will go ahead and tell you that it doesn't make you feel all warm and fuzzy.

No wonder I feel needy......I am.

The dictionary defines sufficient as " enough to meet a need or purpose; adequate"

I will tell you straight out that I want way more of God's grace than I actually need. I want it dripping off of me. I want it to fill every crevice of my insecure mind. I want it to overflow out of my heart. I want it to chase away every fear, doubt, and discouragement that battles for my time and energy.

God doesn't say that He is going to work that way. He just says it will be adequate.

Why do you suppose that is His way?

I don't know. I certainly don't claim to fathom the ways that God uses to get us closer to Him.

For now I will just trust what He says over my own neediness.

I must learn to be satisfied with what He calls sufficient.