As you recall from my last entry God let me slip, fall, and bleed (spiritually) from the roots of an un-forgiving heart.
So what now?
Me-"OK Lord you have pin-pointed a strong-hold of sin in my life. I have not and will not forgive some people. What do I do now?"
God-"Make a list of them."
Me-"Are you sure? That makes me uncomfortable. There are quite a few names on that list....and uh....God.....um.....You might be in the number one slot."
God-"I know. That's ok. Let's work through this together. Start writing the names..."
That was the conversation between us this past Saturday night.
I obeyed.
I made my list.
I wrote out the whys.
And like I thought....God took the top spot. Ouch!
I have continued to pray and wait on God to prompt my heart in how exactly to deal with this.
Last night He began His process.
I went on a walk in the neighborhood. This time the IPOD was juiced up and ready to go. So I walked to the beat of different artists belting out praise and honor to God. Toward the start of lap # 2 a very familiar song came on. I braced myself because it always moves me.
This time was different.
As soon as the Casting Crowns front man started the lyrics to the first verse I knew God had something to say to me. (God totally doesn't care that I am on a walk in my neighborhood and that my resulting behavior could be embarrassing to me and my family...but whatever.)
I sang along and waited for its full impact.
The song is "Set Me Free." It is about a demon-possessed man living an ordinary day surrounded by darkness and evil and then his life-changing experience with the Light of the World, Jesus. Jesus looks straight into his eyes and asks him, "Do you wanna be free? Lift your chains, I hold the key. All power on heaven and earth belongs to me."
I pictured myself. Saved by the grace of God and freed from my sin nature YET willingly wearing chains of un-forgiveness.
Each day I get up and choose to put them on again.
Crazy, isn't it?!?
I am a new creature in Christ. Because I accepted God's gift of mercy and grace through Christ on the cross...I no longer have to give in to sin. I am free from sin.
The song has always spoken to my heart because I picture some needy hurting soul, lost without the LORD and how He longs to save them. The story of Jesus saving sinners never gets old. When someone receives Him as Lord and Savior I always get chill bumps and the tears flow.
But now the song was different. I was the needy hurting soul.
Saved: yes.
Redeemed: yes.
Shackled and chained with un-forgiveness? yes.
Living in bondage to its hold on me? yes.
He was asking, "Andrea, do you wanna be free? Lift your chains I hold the keys. All power on heaven and earth belong to me.
You are free.
You are free.
Now choose it and walk in your freedom."
Wow.
It is just that easy.
A choice.
Get up today and decide.
Get up tomorrow and decide.
Get up the next day and decide.
Do I live free from this or do I go and put on my chains again?
Lord, help me choose to walk and live in the freedom you died to give me.
Isaiah 52:2 Shake off your dust; rise up, sit enthroned, Jerusalem. Free yourself from the chains on your neck, Daughter Zion, now a captive.
Isaiah 61:1 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, and release from darkness the prisoners.
John 8:32 Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.
Acts 13:39 Through him everyone who believes is set free from every sin, a justification you were not able to obtain under the law of Moses.
Romans 6:22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness and the result is eternal life.
FREE- release from bondage, imprisonment; enjoying personal rights or liberty
2 comments:
God's work in our life is always biggest than we realize. It is more painful sometimes than we expect or feel we deserve. I am so amazed by the way He really calls our next move...like it is time to __________. God called Jesus' time to forgive us on the cross. He will continue to call the time of our healing. When He called me to make a list of those I was to forgive He was the last on my list. In my heart He was the first but I didn't have the courage to be honest even thought I knew He knew the truth. I am so proud of you my beautiful and godly daughter. I love you! Mom
Oh, that was sooooo courageous. I was touched beyond words......Great things are happening in the spirit......we will see them manifested in our lives..........I know that Caroline will be made whole...it is almost "that time". Some mornings, when I first wake up, I am so sure you will be calling me with great news.......
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