A Decade of Deciding...

Shep had just pulled of the the Dalton Walnut Ave. exit and we were headed up and over the mountain (that is what my kids call it) to his parents farm this past Saturday. It was a gloriously sunny day and we were out to enjoy the rays....and endure the wind and cold. It is January, after all.

As my trusted minivan trudged up the hill I heard the first words of a song that I had not heard in a really long time. Shep burned a cd for me as a Christmas gift and he wanted to play it for me.

"The pathway is broken
and the signs are unclear.
And I don't know the reasons
why You brought me here.
But just because you love me the way that you do
I'm gonna walk through the valley if you want me to."

I almost couldn't move. Has it really been almost 10 years since I first heard this song? The days when I had to make myself sing the lyrics because I couldn't pray.

Yes.

It has been almost 10 years.

Almost 10 years ago (just 6 months shy) were the days of survival and heartache.

Many of you know that my journey of faith began when Caroline was born. I had been a believer in Jesus since the age of 9. But I did not really believe God and His promises until I was 24. Believing upon Him to save your soul is one thing. Believing Him to direct your path and control your life can be quite another.

This June 11, 2012 will mark 10 years for us.

Ten years of believing.
Ten years of persevering.
Ten years of trying.
Ten years of living.
Ten years of learning.
Ten years of standing.
Ten years of waiting to see God's miracle unfold.

In her....and in us.

As I listened to the rest of the song I was catapulted in my mind back to those days.

It was so hard.
We were so exhausted. In every sense of the word.

I am thankful now that I didn't know we would still be here 10 years later BUT...God is still working.

He hasn't told us anything different. In fact, He has told us again and again to continue to stand, believe, hope, persevere, and believe Him for the impossible.

We aren't moving off of His promise.....even if it is 10 more years....or 10 more years.

Let me just tell you how difficult it is to type those words. It makes the hair stand up on my neck. It makes my tummy flutter. Questions and doubts take turns jumping rope in my mind.

But this I know.

My God is faithful!!!

10 years of deciding each and every day to keep believing Him has worked some serious faith muscles in my life.

Those muscles serve a purpose for me and bring ultimate glory to Him!

I will end with the rest of the lyrics to Ginny Owens song. If you don't know her story behind this song, you should look it up.

Now I sing this song and I still pray the words. Some of it makes more sense to me now but not all of it. If we had all the answers we wouldn't need God.

The pathway is broken
and the signs are unclear.
And I don't know the reason
Why you brought me here.
But just because you love me the way that you do
I'm gonna walk through the valley if you want me to.

Cause I'm not who I was
when I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You.
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to.

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home.
But You never said it would be easy.
You only said I 'd never go alone.

So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself.
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help.
And I remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley if You want me to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q8pWgDsv1E