Hold Me Jesus

Some days this blog provides a blank space to share thoughts, ideas, insights, and glimpses into the world that is my life.

Today that will not be the case.
Today is a heartache.
Today it is an escape for the words that well up and have no place to go...

Today I am weary.
Today I feel to the core of my being that I am a "stranger" here on this Earth.
Today I want to soar heavenward.
Today I blink away tears that sneak up at inopportune moments.

God has called me to believe the unbelievable.
God has asked me to me trust Him to do the unthinkable.
God has revealed only bits and pieces to me...leaving the big holes for Him to fill in.
God has told me to see with my eyes what I don't yet see.
God has told me to hope for that which has not happened.
God has told me to bank on His promise.
God has told me to persevere when I want to be persuaded otherwise.
God has given me a charge and I am not to move from it.


The problem with all of this is that God has not spoken this to many other people on my behalf.
He has spoken it to me (and Shep).

Others have not been called to walk my faith journey. I must do it.
Others question it.
Others mock it.
So do I.....sometimes.

(Please know that when I say "I" what I mean is "we". Shep is totally in this with me.)

God has called us to believe it.
Stand on it.
Plan for it.
And wait....

The world offers hosts of others who think I am crazy, looney, backward, foolish, out-of-my-mind, unwilling, and even a failure.
The enemy of my soul makes sure I hear their words...and see their stares.
Their unbelief.

My God calls to me and whispers hope above this hurt.

He is here.
His voice assures me like nothing else.

My hurt is safe in His hands. My ache only affirms my need for Him. My ache draws Him to me...
Right now.
This is real.
This is rubber meeting the road.



"Well sometimes my life
just don't make sense at all.
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small.

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't you be my Prince of Peace?"
~Rich Mullins