The Longing and the Need

I have tried for the past half hour to drift off to sleep.

No luck though.

I am wound up.  Also I have sensed God drawing me here.

It seems like I can sit down at this computer and type truth to myself.

Thanksgiving has always been a time to gather and dwell; enjoy and savor; reflect and refocus.

It wasn't exactly like that this year.

We encountered some hard things during this holiday.

Sleep deprivation, frazzled nerves, heightened stress, and strained relationships muddied the waters for me.

Don't get me wrong...we hugged necks, bowed our heads in thankfulness, caught up with loved ones and ate delicious dishes but somehow the cloud seemed to linger over us.

It was like I couldn't outrun the rain storm.

But I believe God had this for me.

Today I finally grasped some of what I felt God was saying to my soul.

The hard stuff highlights your need for Me.
Through difficulty I create a longing and a need.....
that only I can satisfy.

We sang a song today in church that clearly states this message.

The song is called "Thanks Be To Our God."

Below is the verse that took root in my soul...

"For the emptiness that cries out to be filled,
For the promise that Your word is deeper still,
For the longing and the need, to have more of You in me,
Because nothing satisfies the way You do,
Thanks be to our God!"


I am so far off of the mark of what Christ calls us to be.

I am selfish, lazy, prideful and bitter.

And this is me on a good day.  I can be far worse than this.

Yet....I am His Child.

Because of Him and His death on the cross I am made holy, righteous, forgiven and redeemed.

But I am a work in progress...in need of constant repair. 

This Thanksgiving God let me experience longing and need in a real and tangible way.  It wasn't fun.  In fact, it was painful and heart wrenching...but necessary.

Oh how He loves us.

He loves us so much He will allow pain for what is necessary.

Truthfully we won't go to Him if there is even a shred of evidence that we can somehow pull if off on our own.

I can't.

My mountains are too big.  Too high.

I know better.

So I have a longing and a need.

Actually I have a few.  And only He can satisfy.

Thanks be to our God!
(And yes it is okay to say this with tear-stained eyes, a lump in your throat, and butterflies swirling in your tummy.  We can know and believe this declaration without feeling a bit of it.  Thank you, Lord for being bigger than how I feel.)


1 Thessalonians 5:18 "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."