Tomorrows

I woke up this morning with a worried mind.

Yes.  Worry is a sin.  The bible calls it out.

But that is exactly where I was....sin and all.

I mentioned in a recent post that Shep and I were getting up early to pray together.  This morning was no different.  We prayed and Shep covered me in prayer. 

He basically told on me to God.

It's ok though.  He is my best friend and I give him total permission to call me out and to tell on me to our Lord.

Back to my worries~

They mainly revolve around Caroline.

When I think about tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year I can almost feel my heart rate increase and a form of dread fall upon me.

If you have ever been the care-giver to someone that has many physical needs then you might understand.

Caroline's needs are intense.  We try to down play them just to stay sane but it can drain a person.

Her every need must be supplied by our hands.

This has been our lives for the past 10 and a half years.

We try to take a day at a time.

But some days, like today, I wake up thinking about all of the tomorrows.

Creases form in my brow, pain swells up in my heart and I can't seem to refocus.

We are supposed to plan and look forward to days ahead.

I find that I do that with Shep, Ava and Zeke pretty easily.  There is excitement when I think about all the things that the future could hold for them.

When I attempt those same thoughts about Caroline.....I become fraught with fear.

How will we ___________?
What will we do about _____________?


(I am not in any way giving up on God healing our girl.  However the "when" of that healing is unclear and life has to be lived in the meantime.  Not just lived...but lived with joy.)

God had a great message waiting on me in the pages of His Word and in my devotion.

"Now God is out in front .  He is in our tomorrows, and it is tomorrow that fills people with fear.  Yet God is already there.  All the tomorrows of our life have to pass through Him before they can get to us."  F.B. Meyer

He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.  When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.  John 10: 3-4