A Snob Am I

I admit it.  I am a snob.

This is not true in the conventional sense of the word.  I am a lover of people. 

But I am a snob nonetheless.

I turn up my nose at pain and problems. 

When difficulty lands in my lap I throw it off quickly and run the opposite way.

I don't even like watching good movies with the underdog who has to fight through a thousand battles just to win, much to the dismay of my husband.

Sadly for me I can't avoid life.

Life is piled high with difficulties.  Some days it is nothing more than refereeing the typical arguments between my children.  Other days I battle with my own insecurities and failures.  More than that I watch others I love walk through times of terrible heartbreak.

What do I want to do?  Turn tail and run.

I want to turn up my nose, ignore it and hope that it will all fade into a glorious happily ever after.

See?  Total snob.

I remember all too well going to the DFACS office for the first time to receive Caroline's WIC vouchers.  (We had to do this for the first 3 years of Caroline's life)

I hated it.

There I was completely surrounded by people with problems.  Uncomfortable doesn't even begin to describe me and my body language.

Caroline receives a special form of Medicaid due to her disability.  She qualifies for medical help because her care is highly involved.  Shep and I are very grateful for this.  But receiving this help meant that I had to go into the office with everyone else to get our vouchers.

In my mind DFACS was a place for people who had made poor choices or just wanted to take advantage of the system.

Yet...there I was.   A poor choice nor greed had landed me there either.

Truthfully, (and I can say this now) grace landed me there.

I needed to experience the humility involved in receiving help along with everyone else.

It was painful to my pride.  But it gave me priceless perspective.

Caroline is 11 years old now and we no longer have to go to the DFACS office for the WIC vouchers.  But the years of visits live in my memory.

Rubbing elbows with people drowning in desperation served me well.

Now I even choose it.

I get to work and volunteer with desperate people every week. 

Most of these people come into our center because of poor choices and desperation. 

I sit on a couch many days and try my best to offer the hope of Jesus Christ to people who can't see past tomorrow. 

The ungodly part of me still wants to stick my nose in the air and act oblivious. 

But the Jesus who lives in me cannot move an inch.

I sit there, tears running down my face, and try my best to offer hope.

Most days I hate the situation that they find themselves in.  I usually do not have a good answer for all of their problems.

But at least I don't morph into the snob I was.

I just sit with them and look fear in the face. 

We cannot be the lights that God has called us to be in a world without pain and hardships.  Real life demands real Christians.  The grace of God will put us in places that demand humility.  Without such experience we cannot serve others.  If we cannot serve others....we cannot serve God.