imagined myself where I was today.
Today was a day that I have been dreading on the calendar for a long time.
Up until this month I have chosen to bury my head beneath the proverbial sand and pretend that today didn't exist.
I seriously never ever thought this would be something I would have to endure.
What is it?
Well what is big to me probably sounds silly or trite to you.
But this is my life. So silly or trite...it is big to me.
Today Shep and I sat in a meeting with teachers from Caroline's Elementary school and a couple of teachers from the Middle School she will attend next year.
Maybe you missed that. MIDDLE SCHOOL.
This was huge in my head. And catastrophic in my heart.
When God told us almost 12 years ago to believe Him to heal our girl and that He would indeed heal her....I never ever planned on being here.....for this long.
As I thought about her growing up I could see her in middle school but it wasn't like this.
Not in a wheelchair. Not with a feeding tube. Not wearing diapers.
But today happened.
I really did sit through that meeting and it didn't kill me.
If God were to show us the entire journey before we take the first step....I don't think we would go.
The strength needed for today has been supernaturally granted in the steps taken for 11 plus years leading up to today.
That is how God works.
A step at a time. The step that proceeded prepared you and the same will be true for every step taken along the way....His way.
I had a mound of faithful friends and family praying for us today. I confessed the broken heart of a mother and they plowed forward in faith on my and Shep's behalf.
This dreaded day has come and gone. Yet here I sit typing a synopsis of all that I feared.
God delivered.
He brought me through what I never thought I could handle.
His ways are so mysterious.
His thoughts toward me so vast.
Today was necessary for reasons I may not yet know.
But I trust the One who will make a way....where I see no way.
Ps. 56:3 "When I am afraid, I will trust in You."
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