His Grace Finds Us

I almost laughed out loud when I saw how long it has been since I had written.

Not quite a month but it feels like a year.

This blog was supposed to be my journey of faith.  Sadly, I don't want to write what I feel most days. 

Faith is there. 

But a lot of other junk is there too. 

But....that is the point.  Letting our faith rise to the surface when the other junk wants to smother it out.

Since my last post I have been out of the country on a mission trip marked with delays and disturbances. 

I returned home completely exhausted with life chomping at the bit to go on as if I had never left.  There was barely a week to absorb sweet time with my kids before school started this past Monday.  A day I have been long dreading....

Caroline began middle school this year.

Just 12 years ago I worked at this middle school as an English teacher.  My last days there were spent waddling around the halls with swollen ankles and a pregnant belly.  Caroline spent 9 months growing in my tummy at that school.  And Monday I took her back.

This time I rolled her in her wheelchair.

I wanted to vomit.

I wanted to run back to elementary school and demand that they take her back.

I wanted to punch something hard.

I wanted to cry.  That....I did.

The picture I had in my head of her starting middle school looked very different.  It was just something else to grieve.

Something else to hand over to God and whisper from a wounded heart, "not my will but Yours."

His grace found me on Monday.

Honestly I didn't want it to.

Grace soothes.  Sometimes we don't want to be soothed. 

I wanted to continue to be mad about the day I was having to live out....

Instead God gave immeasurable grace that made it possible to live the day.

He out gives us every time. 

Grace waits at every turn.  The unexpected kind that overcomes emotions meant to rock you to your core.  His grace trumps it all. 

There is no hiding.

On our worst most dreaded day....His Grace Finds Us.


(I totally stole this from a song called "Your Grace Finds Me".  Give it a listen.  You will love it.)