BE STILL and "I spy"

Today started like most days at my house. Ava woke me up asking for her chocolate milk. Shep had left early b/c of his weekly men's Bible study so I was alone to face the morning. In no time, Zeke, Caroline, and Ava all needed something from me...and so the story goes.
We needed baths, Ava had ballet, and many things needed to be done in the house. I am proud to say that the kids did get their baths (I did not) and Ava did get to ballet. However, the house work got put off to another day.
I did catch a few moments to pile on top of my bed and meet with my Lord. Yesterday, He talked to me about how happy I can and need to be in my faith. Today was all about how we spend most of our time focusing on the one thing we don't have so we don't have the energy or JOY to appreciate what God HAS given us. Anyone else getting hit on this one?? His Word still speaks...I have been in such a fit with Him these past few weeks. He is gently reminding me that being joy-filled is not a choice but a command. (check out 2 Thess. 5:16 if you don't believe me) He is also pointing out that I focus entirely too much on the No's in my life instead of the "YES" that we have in Christ Jesus. (2 Corin. 1:18)

Because I am so hard-headed, God tends to speak to me in trends...repeating Himself over and over. The latest trend I have gotten from him is for me to quietly trust, spend time in solitude with only Him, be still and know that He is God. I don't really like this trend, but God didn't ask my permission for what to work on in my life right now.
Anyone that knows me will know that being still......................is NOT me. I always thought that the part I didn't like about that verse ( "Be still and know that I am God") was "be still". However, as I am learning more about myself that isn't true. What I really don't like is "know". This takes a strong, stubborn, volitional will to KNOW something is true even when and especially when we don't FEEL it.

Kim, Sonya, and I sang tonight at the hospice center at a birthday party of a 52 year old woman who has 2 weeks to live. How do you process that...."be still and KNOW that He is God"

There is a widow across town who is getting her four children down for the night. I know she asks God everyday why she had to lose her husband and her children had to lose their father..."be still and KNOW..."

A mother watches her special needs daughter lying in the hospital bed at Scottish Rite and wonders if her heart could break any more that it is right now...."be still and KNOW..."

A friend tries desperately to save her marriage that seems so broken. Giving up would be easier......"be still and KNOW...."

Infertility quietly wages war on young brides that desperately desire the title of "mommy". Why is it so hard for them to get pregnant?? "be still and KNOW...."

I choose to KNOW that YOU are God.
You are large and in charge.
Nothing escapes your attention.

You hurt when I hurt. You see every battle I fight.
I still choose to KNOW.
You will make all things work together for my good.
I know you are crazy about me. I know I am the apple of your eye.
I know that I can hide in the shadow of your wing. I know that you pray for me and intercede on my behalf.
I know that you are very acquainted with the craziness of my life.
I know I am loved.
I know I am redeemed.
I know I am set free.
I know you go before me and hem me in from behind.

I will be still and KNOW that you are my amazing God!

My sweet mentor, Marje, gave me a good word today. "Fast from discontentment and feast upon thankfulness". I think I will......................................................



On a different note entirely...Caroline played "I spy" with me today. I would tell her that I spied a certain color and she would amaze me as she used her head and eyes to find the color. She got 5 out of 5! It was a good time for us. It is rare that I get to really "play" with her when I know that she is reciprocating with me. I got that today....thank you Jesus for that delight today.