O.K. so I am doing this Bible study by Angela Thomas. It is called "When Wallflowers Dance". It is great and we are getting into the meat of the study now...it is our third week. Anyway, the video yesterday was a monumental marker for me. She talked about how bitterness is a jail and we hold the key to getting out.
This is true. Although I would not generally categorize myself as "bitter", I certainly do have a root of bitterness in my life. The root of this bitterness is Caroline's condition. I am fine with it mostly and I am crazy about my little girl...but the bitterness begins when I start thinking of all the things that she cannot do. Then-----------------------before I know it I am comforting myself in complete bitterness and pity.
I can't stand to be around people like this and look I AM ONE!!
The truth is life is NOT fair!! Never has been and never will be!! I could spend countless hours and days and months and years being angry and bitter because I haven't gotten all the things that I thought I should have gotten or because things have happened to me that produce sorrow and pain.
Well........here and now.......I am CHOOSING freedom!! I am choosing to believe God! I am sure that I am going to have times where I slip up and fall back into that prison but I pray heavily against it. I desperately want to hate bitterness! Hate what it has done to me and what it is doing to others I love.
Thank you Jesus for dying and giving me the keys to freedom. I can choose this day to not soak in my bitter thoughts. Help me to not encourage bitterness in others. Give me a grateful heart, a believing and steadfast mind, and a willing spirit to let You take me to places I have only dreamed of going.
I love you. Thank you for taking my hand and walking me out of my own prison of bitterness.
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