In the huddle

Shep and I have been getting hit with a lot of unfortunate junk these days. You know...things just going wrong...and then more things going wrong...and even more things going wrong.

We actually get tickled because in the midst of this, we are doing great! But dealing with the hard stuff hitting us and not knowing how we are going to manage is very difficult.

I must credit my man though. No matter how tough it gets, he will smile and say, "We are pushing through. We are going to make it!"

I know deep down he is right. But my anxious heart and furrowed brow haven't understood it yet. Oh how I worry over stuff!

Anyway yesterday there we were in the huddle. You know the deal...teams get in the huddle and regroup and restrategize. That's what Shep and I had to do. We had just had it. Life is stinking at the present moment and we had to decide to let it take us in or make us better. We made our choice. Mind you...it is not the choice my flesh wanted to make. I want to walk around and pout.....but Christ in me can stand strong and confident.

All of this came on the heels of attending a "Women of Faith" conference yesterday. I was amazed that God found little ol me there in the midst of all those thousands of women. He had something to say to me. He used Marilyn Meberg. She is an excellent speaker, counselor, and educator. She brought up in her lesson that everyone has this box that we act like we don't have....it called the "Where were you God???" box.

We have these times in our lives where God hasn't exactly shown himself. (of course my mind didn't go straight to June 12th or our financial burden for the last two years)

She said that these times of hurt where we have lost our faith in God then lead us down a road of anxious thoughts that then multiply and turn into questions that haunt us. We don't say anything though....we just keep all of that stuff in that box.

Here are a few of the questions that result from our "Where were you, God??" box:

-Do you even exist?
-Why do you answer prayer for others and not me?
-What sin are you holding against me and using it for punishment?
-Am I not good enough?
-Do I not have enough faith....even though I have mustered all I know to have?
-Do you care that my heart aches over something you could have fixed?


Uh...do any of these sound familiar to you? If so, many you need to deal with your box. Or they may sound familiar because this line of thinking has been haunting me since June 12th. Go back and read some of my blogs and you will see these exact questions peppered through the last weeks and months of my life.

God, in His grace and mercy, brought out the very stuff that I hate to bring up to Him. He knows dealing with it is the only way for resolution. He also knew I would be hit with a bit of a bombshell as soon as I got home and I would need to be armed with encouragement from His Word. If not....I would be tempted to once again place this bombshell in my "Where were you, God?" box.

As I end this blog.....just know I am working on it. As Christians we don't really talk about how hard things are that God places in front of us. We paint on the smile and act like we are fine. Well, if you know me...I am NOT that good of an actress. I have to deal with stuff. I have to fuss and mull over it. Hopefully, as I continue to grow and mature in Christ, my methods will slowly conform to simply trusting. For now....I am in process. Pressing through. Striving. Learning.