Annoyed

I tried to do so good today.

Kicked off the week. Got the girls to school. Came home and played with the most handsome little man ever. Put him down for a mid-morning nap and then fell face-down for some "real" time with my Jesus.

I had watched a really neat skit that had two men performers. One of them was playing the role of God and the other was playing the role of man. www.skitguys.com/store/detail/188/

The conversation between the two was interesting, challenging, exposing, funny, and uncomfortable. As I watched it...I saw myself and ran through my head what my conversation may sound like with God.

I knew immediately I needed to go pray.

I had to just get down to the hurting point. Why is prayer like this so hard??? I want to bare my heart. I want to lay it all out and expose it before Him. Yet...when the time comes for me to do it.....I hold back.

Anyway, I tried not to do that. I tried not to paint on the smile. I lifted up my praises and thanksgiving with a huge helping of heartache to go along with it. I wanted desperately to feel better. But nothing.

This is where I have to know obedience counts for something. Just the satisfaction of knowing I was obedient was going to have to suffice in the place of feeling better.

To briefly sum up my afternoon....I spent a total of 2 and a half hours on the phone with insurance people, hospital people, and phone people. I hope something was accomplished. I feel drained and poised for attack. My poor children. When your nerves are this shot out you want to warn them to stay away....for their own good. Ha Ha!!

I will brag on Jesus and tell you that although inwardly I was exasperated and aggravated to no end, my voice remained bright and cheery on the phone. I knew that the people I was talking to were not at fault at all but still I wanted someone to suffer.

See these are the real-life application things that we typically want to leave Jesus out of and handle on our own. We don't want to have to exert self-control, gentleness, kindness, goodness, mercy, and so on.

Only He can do that! I don't know why He wanted me to spend most of my afternoon dealing with unpleasant things....but that is beside the point. He showed me that Christ in me can do the impossible...

I am off to get dinner ready and prepare for the last leg of the day. I am trying to turn this annoyed attitude into an anointed attitude. Wouldn't that be a great example for my kids to see??? Let's see how I do.....