The Week Ahead...

This next week is VBS at our church.

It will be busy, fun, and exhausting!

It is also the week of Caroline's birthday. She will turn 8 years old on Friday.

I don't even know what to think of that.

Her birthday conjures many emotions each year.

I feel most grateful----for having her.
She has changed me and given me depths of compassion I never knew existed.

I feel hopeful---
I feel excited---
I feel sadness---
I feel a loss---

I relive this every year. It is the one event that changed us forever. Her birthday.

I have asked that God would walk me through this with ease. I can't explain why it is still so difficult. Probably because I thought she would be healed by now.

We are still standing.
We are still believing.
We hope it is soon.
Maybe we were wrong and it could be this year June 12th, 2010.

Who knows?

God does and it will be glorious when it happens!

God I am crying out to you. Hold me tight this week. Forgive my thoughts and actions that do not line up with Your will for my life. Don't let me slip into my usual sadness. Give me doses of joy and gladness. You know I miss what I have never known. I am forever grateful for my Caroline. Thank you for her and everything that she is to me and so many others. My weariness wears me out sometimes and holding on to this promise makes me feel crazy. But You are my strength! You make me an over comer! You are my Shield and my Strong Tower. I am running to You because I know I can't do this on my own. I praise You with everything I am...my faith, my fears, my hopes, my doubts, and my dreams. I want to give up because of how hard this is. Don't let me. Show me what You can do in the midst of difficulty. Carry me I pray.