Maybe you get it...(A word from Shep)

Do you remember where you were 10 years ago today?  I do.

You know, there are certain events that just change everything- Like before Jesus came, time is referred to as B.C. and after he came everything is A.D.  He came, and everything changed.  Well June 11, 2002 is like that for me.

You see, ten years ago, Caroline came and nothing has been the same since.

Before Caroline I was happy-go-lucky.
Before Caroline I had never experienced heartbreak.
Before Caroline I had never had a problem I couldn't fix.
Before Caroline I had never been depressed.
Before Caroline I had never been unable to focus on simple things that really needed to be done.
Before Caroline I had never been unable to talk about something without crying.
Before Caroline none of my clothes were stained with slobber.
Before Caroline I never stood in line at the grocery store with W.I.C. vouchers to buy formula.

I remember my law partner asking me what happened- and I couldn't tell him.  I mean I really couldn't make the words come out of my mouth.  That had never happened before.

Maybe you get the picture...maybe you don't. 

But when they rolled my bride out the door, blue, unconscious and un-breathing with my little girl still inside her, something changed- forever.  My storybook childhood and extended adolescence abruptly ended.

Before Caroline I had never knew what it meant to cry out to God.
Before Caroline I had never seen the body of Christ circle the wagons and look after one of their own.
Before Caroline I had never had the unbelievable privilege to love someone that can't walk, or talk or eat.
Before Caroline I had no idea just how awesome my wife really is.
Before Caroline I had never seen how strangers react when a handicapped child smiles at them.
Before Caroline I had never seen adults rearrange their schedules to spend even a few minutes with a child that cannot even say, "Hi!" or "I love you" or "Ball."
Before Caroline I had never heard the Baptists I know talk much about healing, dreams or visions.
Before Caroline I really had no idea what faith was about- or perseverance- or patience- or love.
Before Caroline I had never been desperate.

You see, there is something special about this child.  She reels people in.  She melts hearts of stone.  She has these engaging eyes that haunt you like some old sweet dream that you can't quite remember.  She smiles at you with her whole face and suddenly other problems are revealed for what they are- just buttons off your shirt- just every day distractions.

Her breath smells like candy- even in the morning. 

She is heartbreak and joy, despair and delight all rolled into one gorgeous gift.  I am scared to think what a sorry man I'd be without her.  She reveals me.  She drives me to my knees.

She even makes a redneck blog.

I know she can't walk,
Or talk,
Or even eat.

But, she is the best ten-year-old on the face of the planet.
I'll fight anybody that says different.

Maybe you get that.
Maybe you don't.