My decorations have come down and the hype has ended.
It seems sacrilegious to speak in a ho hum fashion about such a special and sacred holiday. But I have decided (after much encouragement from my man) to think less about the burdens I currently bear and just be.
Be light on purpose.
I am intentionally choosing to lay down the heavy things that make my head and heart feel like they may burst....even for just a few days.
Christmas is a wonderful time of year. We give gifts. We do for others. We remember the One who gave the greatest gift of all. It should be a time that feels weightless upon our shoulders, but for a lot of people (myself included), we feel the weight of what isn't.
I imagined this Christmas being very different. It wasn't. My expectations were once again unmet.
That is ok in and of itself...but how I feel about it has to have someplace to go.
Usually for me the typical response to unmet expectations is anger toward God.
Stupid really. But it is the truth.
My anger began showing itself through numbness.
I have no desire to pray or even push myself to get into God's Word. But I did express these thoughts and feelings to my best friend who happens to be my husband.
He said, "Have you thought of just taking time off from thinking about your burdens or carrying them around?"
Life is life. My life has particular burdens that are mine to bear. But honestly the idea of taking some time off from thinking about them sounded so good to me.
So...I did.
That is where I have been for the past week or so. I have no idea when I will pick them up again...no doubt it will be soon. But, for now, I am just kind of in the moment. No future thoughts. No past thoughts. Just here. Just now.
Here are a few snapshots from Christmas 2013!
"So don't be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time." Matthew 6:34 TLB
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