I don't know

If I had to give myself a grade on my behavior at the meeting I would say B- or C+.

I sat next to Caroline and basically observed.

The Dynavox machine is a marvel. It is also incredibly complex to learn.

Caroline's teachers will do most of the learning right now and then begin to guide her on how to use it. It will be difficult to bring this machine home until an extended school break. The machine itself is mounted to her wheelchair at school.

Our van does not currently have a wheelchair lift and one person cannot lift it. So transporting it is a hurdle right now.

I don't know why I still have a "gut feeling" that is negative about this. Maybe Caroline will surprise us all and be a whiz on it in no time. That could happen.

For me, as a busy wife and mother of 3 I just became a bit overwhelmed at the possibility of adding yet something else to my plate.

I can't imagine it. When I am at home I don't stop. You mothers know the deal. Everyone else and everything else comes first and HAS to get done. So to me, this seems like a huge time investment that I simply don't have. Not to mention...2 other children who will need attention from me.

I just don't know...
I don't know what to think...
I don't pretend to know the mind of God...
I don't understand why this seems so illogical....

What I do know is God told me to TRUST HIM.

So---that is that.

Trust and obey....it all comes back to that. Simple. The basics.

As one who is trying her best to do this...it is hard. It hurts. I want to scream out and say, "Lord, haven't we had enough? Isn't our faith pleasing to you? Don't these past 7 and a half years mean anything?"

Instead of doing that.....I'll do this....I'll cling with all I have to His Word.

Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you TRUST in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.


That is a good swap, don't you think???