Has a week gone by already? Seems impossible....like emotionally I have lived a lifetime.
I still have lots of questions. My emotions stay on a roller coaster.
BUT.....
I really am doing good. We learned yesterday (at Bible study) about God enabling and empowering us in the midst of difficulty.
I don't think I have ever experienced that like I am right now. It is funny because "how I feel" is secondary. What is amazing to me is that I haven't fallen apart. In times past, my feelings were all that mattered.
Today, although still sad, confused, and broken.....I know I was obedient. I know God is doing something. I know lives were changed. I am still standing on my belief that the healing is coming soon.
I mentioned before that Shep and I have asked at least 100 times in this past week, "I wonder if we ever really heard from Him?"
Yesterday my daily devotion answered that very question...
Oswald Chambers wrote:
If you debate for even one second when God has spoken, it is all over for you. Never start to say, "Well, I wonder if He really did speak to me?" Be reckless immediately-totally unrestrained and willing to risk everything-by casting your all upon Him. You do not know when His voice will come to you, but whenever the realization of God comes, even in the faintest way imaginable, be determined to recklessly abandon yourself, surrendering everything to Him.
-My Utmost for His Highest
Isn't God so cool? He answered me. He answered my direct question...with the very same words I used to ask Him.
God is my portion.
God is my rock.
He is enough.
He is my banner.
He provides.
Help me to continue to surrender and submit my will to you. I am still dealing with anger and doubt....take it all away from me. Fill me with faith and courage. Forgive me for my unbelief, cynicism, and pride. I thank you for your mercy and grace that was waiting on me this morning. Thank you for being sufficient and letting me really mean that. Holy Spirit please abide with me, fill me, and lead me today...lest I fall apart.
1 comment:
It is so clear that you have "built your house upon the rock", because even when there are waves crashing around you, and the rain feel so heavy, the foundation remains stable and secure! Know where your feet are planted! He is the voice that calms the sea and He is speaking to the waves as He is speaking to your heart! I love how He spoke to you through the story of Cinderella! I love you and even though it has broken my heart to see you go through a disappointing moment, I will be here believing, until the day comes that we can dance at the ball! :)
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