WHAT IF.....

What if...

This is the question that has stolen my sleep for the last few weeks.

What if believers really listened for God to speak?

What if we believed what we thought He said to us?

What if we acted on it?

What if we looked foolish?

What if we got it wrong?

What if we got it right?

What if the church stopped being a place of stale religion, fear-filled members, and boring ritualistic lessons and became a place of the Holy Spirit's power and presence, where all believers lived lives of faith, courage and reckless abandon?

The reason I ask these questions is this. Shep and I find ourselves in a crisis of belief.

We have believed for almost 7 years that God is going to heal Caroline. In the past few weeks, we feel that we have heard God getting more specific. June 12th.

Through a series of events, revelations in the Word, and undeniable providential occurrences that are far too detailed and lengthy to include, we believe that God is going to heal Caroline on June 12th.

I cannot deny that I am afraid. I have been wrong before...and it hurts...bad. I am so afraid that I may be wrong again. But I am more afraid of losing hope. I am more afraid of giving up. I am more afraid of blowing by all this and giving in to the fear of failure and disappointment.

If I am going to be wrong. I at least want to be brave...

One of Shep's favorite quotes inspires me..

As T.R. said,
"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

What I do know is that I serve a great God. If June 13th rolls around and nothing has changed, He will still pick me up off of the floor, dust me off, wipe away angry tears, and encourage me to keep going.

Having said all of that........WHAT IF?

(Really cannot believe I actually wrote this.)