Early Gifts

(These are a few snapshots of our weekend...waking up to snow...family snapshot on Saturday and the John Berry concert with our friends.)

This was a great weekend packed with little gifts that I didn't even get to open. They were just given to me.

That is how sweet God is to His kids. He graces us with "little joys" to see His kids light up with joy...and I did just that!

Thursday night was the annual Christmas parade in our small town. Shep and I have NOT gone since Caroline was small. She is incredibly sensitive to loud noises so we have opted out of going. We decided that we would give it a try this year. It was the right thing. It was freezing cold. We were huddled up with friends. Christmas was in the air. She endured the fire engines and then did beautifully the rest of the parade. What a praise and an accomplishment!!

Friday night we stayed in as a family...popped popcorn and watch movies. I fixed bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches (a family favorite) and we just chilled together.

Saturday morning I woke up to huge snowflakes falling outside. It was beautiful! We stood in front of the windows and marveled at this unexpected delight. It didn't last...this is Georgia of course. But, it was beautiful to see.

Our day Saturday was packed. We rode to Alabama for a family reunion. We were busy every moment but I am so glad we went. Hugging my aunts, uncles, and cousins was a treat that I won't get again any time soon. Nostalgia almost knocks you over. These are the people that loved me, fed me, gave me presents, played with me, watched me pitch fits, spanked my bottom when I got in trouble, and spent every holiday with me. Just seeing them filled my heart with home.

Saturday night we rushed back to join some friends for the John Berry Christmas concert.

It was more like a church service than a concert. The Lord was very present in that place. My spirit was stirred and my heart praised God for this glorious season. Christmas is all about hope. Jesus is our hope. He is the only thing that gets me through the day. It was refreshing to hear an accomplished artist brag on my Savior. I highly recommend seeing his show. It ushers in the Christmas season like nothing else....

Today was church day. It is always good to be around my church family. I love the familiarity of faces and just being there feels good.

The preschoolers sang today on stage. I cracked up to watch my Ava (in both services) walk right up to the spot directly in front of the microphone. She isn't shy at all. She sees me sing with a microphone all the time so why should she do any different?? It was precious.

Our prayer time tonight was quaint and powerful. Simple and so moving. I believe the heart of God moves when His people pray and cry out to Him.

As we headed to church, Shep and I listened as Ava talked on her "play" cell phone. She told Mary that she would soon have a son and call him Jesus. She told her that she would have to go to Bethlehem with Joseph. It was really cute! She is a little 4 year old sponge. Lord-help me!!

No Holy Trophy

"It is a trap to presume that God wants to make us perfect specimens of what He can do- God's purpose is to make us one with Himself."

"How can we say, 'It could never be God's will for me to be sick?' If it was God's will to bruise His own Son, why wouldn't He bruise you? What shines forth and reveals God in your life is not your relative consistency to an idea of what a saint should be, but your genuine, living relationship with Jesus Christ, and your unrestrained devotion to Him whether you are well or sick."

"God's purpose is not to perfect me to make me a trophy in His showcase; He is getting me to the place where He can use me."

-Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

These are just a few quotes from my very challenging devotional this morning. I usually have to read and re-read several times for the gist to sink in.

I am so grateful that God isn't interested in making me into a trophy of holiness. A trophy is pretty pointless. The recognition is nice, but face it....after a while a trophy collects dust and eventually gets put in a box for storage. (I don't know where most of my trophies are from when I was growing up.)

God is about the bruising. God is about the blessing. God is about equipping. God is about excavating. God is about taking. God is about giving. God is about sacrifice. God is about service. God is about smiling. God is about process. God is precise.

He is all of it.

To recognize His goodness only in the good is forsaking the nature of who He really is.

It gives me hope during this ongoing season of my life.

I believe He is at work producing holiness in me....even and especially at most lowest points.

Sometimes I feel so useless...especially about what I believe (Caroline). However, if people smell the sweet aroma of grace during times of pressing and stretching in my life, then I am believing a lie. Grace, even seen through desperation in others is still pleasing to God and encouraging to others. To call it useless is a lie of my enemy.

Press on Lord...press on.

Phil. 3:12 "Not that I have already attained or am already perfect...."

Yearning....

I have heard it said that..."a mother is only as happy as her most sad child".

Do you think that is true?

-A mother with 4 kids and all are doing great except for one that is in jail. Where do you think her heart is?

-A mother with 2 grown children sees that one of her children is depressed, financially unstable, and a failing marriage. Where is her heart?

-A mother with 5 amazing kids and one is addicted to drugs and is without God. Where does her heart bleed?

I will tell you.

As a mother of three amazing, delightful, and precious children....your heart stays most with the one who needs you the most. Your heart breaks most for the one who isn't whole. Your mind floods with thoughts around the one who you wish you could help but the remedy is out of your hands.

Holidays are always hard.

This Thanksgiving was so good...and there is still good to come.

But (secretly) I was only as happy as my most needy child.

As we gathered to give thanks and partake of the much-anticipated meal....I ached for my child who couldn't taste or enjoy any of it.

As Christmas comes knocking at the door...I already feel my frustration for buying toys for my child who can't really play with them or even open them at this time.

I am not writing this for any one's pity. This is simply the truth.

The truth just isn't always pretty or fun...or easy to read.

This year I am thankful for my God who wants the truth. The truth that we hide away and think that He really doesn't want to hear. No----that isn't my God. He seeks out the truth. The ugly stuff that I don't want to admit.

The enemy tells me that I should not dare complain or voice my hurts here at Thanksgiving. He wants me to keep this in and become angry.

I won't do it.

Instead I will celebrate these holidays in truth.

I will come before Him open and honest. I won't hold back my hurts. I will shout out my praises and thanksgiving. I will love Him. I will honor Him. I will bring Him my treasured secrets and my most sacred thoughts. He is worthy.

I am having a hard time. But He is good. He hears me. He hurts with me. He has a plan.

Father strengthen me today. You know me well. You know how I can be. Keep my feet firm and my mind set on You. I have so much to be thankful for....remind me always. May my words be gracious and kind...my lips eager to praise You!

Gone is the gall bladder

Yes, it is true! I am now missing an organ. It seems so strange. You go to the hospital...stay a few hours...get it out....recover...and then go home.

Pretty amazing.

Thank you to all of my pals for praying peace and protection over me. Almighty God heard and answered those prayers.

It couldn't have gone better.

As for how I feel now??? Good, except that my stomach feels like I was punched or kicked about a million times.

Oh yeah, I am also not going to have to cook for the next 5 nights. Can you believe that? Our class at church is providing food. The Guytons are bringing food tonight and if you know them....then you know we will be eating good!!

Catch up later.....off to lay down and rest a while (wink wink)

Throw me high daddy!!

I just had to post these pictures.

Don't you remember being thrown into the air and loving it??

My kids are no exception. They want their daddy to throw them up and catch them over and over and over...

Notice my strong man lifting Caroline (wheelchair and all) into the air. I especially love the look on Zeke's face as he watches.

This was the fun in our kitchen tonight. I just wanted to share the joy!

Mercy Seat

There really aren't words to describe the worship experience at our church Saturday night. The air was thick with the sweet Presence of God. He was there doing what He does best....healing hearts, blessing lives, answering prayers, and relishing the praises of His people.

The highlight of the night for me was singing "Mercy Seat".

If you know the song....just singing it was enough to be blessed. But watching people I love and even those I didn't know making their way to the altar to lay down their burdens and receive mercy was humbling and joyous.

You could physically see people unloading their burdens on the very One who is able to heal and carry them...because we were never meant to.

It was awesome!

I will say that I kept my eyes on my daddy who sat at the back of the sanctuary holding Caroline. I had already told the Lord that I thought it would be another awesome opportunity to heal her.

He chose not to....but the day is coming.

I could almost imagine it though. As we (the choir) belted out praises about the lame being able to walk...I envisioned her jumping out of my daddy's arms and and giving us a tangible example of the very thing we were singing about.

Thank you sweet Jesus for your mercy on me. There is more than enough...always. I couldn't make it through a day without you. Keep me running to Your mercy seat..

I WILL...

bless the Lord forever.

I WILL trust Him at all times.

HE HAS delivered me from all fear.

HE HAS set my feet upon a rock.

I WILL not be moved.

I'LL SAY of the Lord.

You are my Shield, my Strength, my Fortress, Deliverer, my Shelter, Strong Tower, my very present HELP in time of need.

(these are lyrics from one of my very favorite Travis Cottrell songs...by the way he will be at our church this Saturday night!!!)

I just had to take a moment and declare praise to my great God for His many unexpected blessings in the past 2 weeks. I have laughed, gasped, cried, and laid out face-down in my floor because of some of the ways God has chosen to bless my family.

I would have never suspected His ways or the people that He uses. Again...He is weird....wonderfully weird...

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you God for going outside of my box to bless me and my family. You amaze me. I am so unworthy of even a second thought from You, yet You lavish me with your love, grace, and provision.

Even in this desert place....this barren land where You have led us....You have provided streams to refresh us. These streams in our desert have given us joy, hope, peace of mind, and confirmation that You are unchanging....always pursuing....always working....never forsaking.