Christmas was just 2 weeks ago, right?
Actually the past few months have been most difficult.
I am not sure how I can look back and time has seemed to drag AND fly by at the same time.
Just over 2 weeks ago we said goodbye to Shep's daddy.
His life here on this earth is over. My heart ached to watch my sweetheart lose the man that taught him how to be one.
For months we watched his health decline.
Yet we hoped he would turn a corner and improve.
We wanted him here with us.
I was honored to have several days that were well spent at the hospital. I would drive up and keep my mother in law company.
Her place was beside her man.
She took vows long ago that declared she would be by his side in sickness and in health.
That she was.
Their love and loyalty to each other would leave me breathless on most visits.
I even tried to capture some sweet moments with my phone without infringing on the tenderness of them.
These two photos were taken as she sang over him.
I just sat there and took it all in.
Her beloved husband was slipping away from her.
In faith and surrender she sang about her Savior.
It was extraordinary.
It was one of love's finest moments.
We celebrated his life and home-going on Sunday, February 7th.
All three of his sons and his son in law spoke about Pop. Each one painting an accurate picture of the man we loved.
That evening I found myself hating to leave the farm.
I despised death and I despised that it left my sweet mother in law without her love of 60 years.
The farm even felt, different, like it was mourning the loss of its long time friend and caretaker.
We lingered as long as possible. We laughed. We cried. We remembered and told stories.
I hugged her tight and long and promised to check in with her the next day.
Monday came and we exchanged encouraging texts.
My heart was still so heavy for her loneliness and grief.
By Wednesday evening I noticed she had not responded to my text message from that day.
I would soon learn that my sweet mother in law was in the hospital battling a twisted bowel. She was very very sick.
Since then she has endured 2 surgeries to remove dead tissue and remains in the ICU. Her body is not recovering like we want.
I have no idea what God is doing and I certainly don't understand the timing and the pain of it.
But He has and is tending to our hearts.
Pain and grief can do a good work in us.
It softens my heart and strengthens my resolve. At least that is what I have found.
Only God could pull that off.
Each day in the past week has brought with it uncertainty.
For that alone I have relished in the certainty of my God.
I run to Him.
I hide in His arms.
I cry and weep and groan there.
And I sense His peace and comfort.
How Good It Is!
If you knew my mother in law she would be tickled to know end that I would be bragging on her Jesus this way.
Even with my heart longing for the sound of her voice...she would chide me to search to hear His.
Even with grief overwhelming my senses....she would tell me to think upon His goodness and grace.
I am not sure what pain you are enduring this day.
His comfort trumps any other.
His peace is this mysterious gift that engulfs you.
His mercy reaches past your anger...even at Him.
"But as for me, how good it is to be near God!
I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter,
and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do." Psalm 73:28
