Fresh Mercy

Anyone who says that an adult cannot pitch a fit as good as any child is lying.

Most adults pitch fits a lot.  Most of us have just learned to keep the screaming and rage to a minimum.  So instead many of us walk around pitching fits in our heads....all the while with a plastic smile pasted onto our faces.

"Why has this happened?"
"This is so unfair."
"What if _______?"

These thoughts that swirl and soak relentlessly with no end are really fits.  Fits of rage or frustration that beat us down and steal joy that God died to give us.

Occasionally we slip up and allow one of the mind fits to become a visible thing.  It is no longer something that occupies our thoughts alone.  It becomes a living breathing thing.  A fit that slams doors, and stomps feet, with raised voices for effect and hand gestures just because.

This was my reality just a week ago. 

Something simply didn't go my way.  My plans had to be changed.  My scheduled had to be adjusted. 

I am so embarrassed as I look back on my immediate reaction.

Call it hormones or stress if you want to.  But I am going to call it what it was: a fit. 

I could not have been more wrong in my behavior.

At the time I just felt like I needed to make someone else understand that the circumstances were unfair. 

Now...a week later...it seems beyond silly.

Here is the silver lining to this story.  Thankfully my anger subsided quickly.  God convicted me immediately and offered no shame at all.

Instead He completely and instantly clothed me in mercy.

The Bible says that our God is rich in mercy (Acts 17:11).  I experienced that when the meanness of my heart became completely eclipsed by something I didn't deserve, mercy.

Somehow mercy received does this amazing thing to the meanness that can lurk within our hearts...it really takes it away.

My unfortunate fit showed me God's mercy in a new light.  Most days I minimize my sin.  Bad thoughts are hidden from others but a fit like mine couldn't hide.  And my fit didn't push God away.   He rushed in with sweet conviction and a boatload of mercy.  Fresh mercy that was needed right then.  There was no condemnation except for me feeling so silly later.   In those moments I relished His mercy like a new baby believer.  I needed it so badly. 

Oh how we forget what He has done for us.  And what He still does...