He Gives Rest

 

 

 

I walked into Caroline's room this morning and turned on the lamp.

There was no movement.  All was still.

I just stood there.  Stunned.

She was asleep. 

Her body was completely relaxed.  Her breathing steady and strong.

Caroline is usually the last one asleep and the first one awake. 

There are still plenty of nights she will wake up in the middle of the night.  Restless.   Fitful.

For all of her life she has struggled with sleep.

It turns out that a lot of severely disabled children struggle in this way.

We have racked our brains and tried everything.

What we have come to realize is that she has to wind down.....

The rest of us walk and talk and eat and exercise and usually fling ourselves into bed from exhaustion.

She can't release stress in any way.

So night time has always been hard.

There is a lot of screaming.  If you think about it that is one thing  she can do to let off a little (or a lot) of steam.

She will kick the sheets off.  She will turn herself over.  She will kick the bedrail. 

We are used to all of that.

What we are not used to is ~rest~.

When I looked down and saw her sweet little frame enjoying rest I was overcome with joy. 

For her.

It thrilled my heart to see her enjoying the safety of her bed in her room that has been provided for her to enjoy.

I hovered there not wanting to even breathe because I just knew at any moment she would wake up.

But she didn't. 

She slept on. 

Finally I could not stand it any longer.  I crept out and grabbed my phone to snap a picture.  I couldn't wait to send it to my husband who could also appreciate the oh-so-rare moment.

(Turns out the flash did wake her up:)

After getting the kids off to school and beginning my routine I felt the Lord speak in His tender way....

"The same joy you felt to see Caroline at rest is but a taste of My joy when I see you receiving the rest I give you. Come to me.  You are carrying burdens too great for you to bear.  I give rest.  I hover over you my child in the same way you hovered over her.  There is faith in rest.  Strength is given. I created your body and soul to need it."

I closed my bible and slipped under the blanket on the couch.  I laid still and intentionally calmed myself before God.  Eyes closed.  Breathing steady. I simply fixed my thoughts upon Him.

I sensed His joy in my obedience.

In the same way that seeing my child at rest had blessed me~

I had just blessed my God.

"Cease striving and know that I am God...." Ps. 46:10 NASB

"Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28