My morning fight

I was amazed at just how easily the tracks of my thoughts shifted this morning and I wanted to share.

This blog is supposed to be a real day-to-day account of my faith.  And I say this over and over...that means the good, the bad, and the oh-so- ugly.

This morning was one of the oh-so-ugly occasions.

I woke up to new mercies.  A new day ahead of me full of potential and possibilities.  I hopped into the shower and began to pray.  This isn't usually a time where I talk out loud (although that has happened before).  Normally I just try to focus on God and His goodness toward me.  I thank Him.  I praise Him.  I tell Him things that trouble me.  I ask Him to intervene in the lives of others that I love.  Usually all of this happens in my head.  You know what I mean...you all have a head voice too.

Out of nowhere (literally) my thoughts jumped onto a different track completely.  The thoughts that had just moments before been focused on God began to shift to a person.  Then the thoughts began to turn into things that offended me about that person.  Then before I could finish shampooing my hair, I was completely irrationally angry at this person.  This all happened in a span of about 10 seconds.

Then I began to stew on it.

No longer were there thoughts of praise or thanksgiving or intercession.  It was full on stewing anger.

Everything centered around how offended I should be and how things were completely unfair.  I even began plotting a plan to confront said person about my offense.

Seriously this stage lasted for about 25 minutes.  (Jaw drop here).

Embarrassing.  Yes I know.

All I can say is that the Holy Spirit somehow worked His magic and began stirring into my heart.

Intermixed with my angry thoughts came these words:

"Forgive."
"Do not confront them at all.  Pray for them."
"Ask Me to bless them."
"Do you trust that I see everything?  I know if you have been wronged.  It is not your fight."

My hardened heart miraculously began to thaw out.  I wish you could have seen me.  It was like I was standing there in the bathroom deciding which thought to believe. My hands were on my hips.  I was poised for pride to win.  But, thankfully, I believed the voice of Truth.

I back tracked in my mind to the original thought and I asked God to forgive me.  I then asked God to bless this person and help me to truly forgive them AND to think the best of them.  Dang that part is so incredibly hard.  This I had to do out loud.  It was as if putting a voice to it made it real.

So this was my morning fight.

I don't know if the enemy ever does this to you.  But he sure did want to set my whole tone for the day.  I had a choice.  In the end I made the right one.  Too bad I wasted almost half an hour of my energy stewing over nothing.