Birthday Extended

My group of church friends have a neat tradition. We try to have a girls night out at the birthday girl's favorite restaurant.

I chose Pappasittos because it is a fun atmosphere and they have insanely delicious tortilla chips and homemade tortilla shells.

There is also this spinach and artichoke cheese dip that is so good I would drive the 35 miles out of my way to eat it anytime. I am not a huge fan of spinach or artichokes, but somehow they mask those flavors so that all you taste is the mouth-watering cheesy goodness.

We had fun. We had a super long wait and I must brag on my friends. I offerred to go somewhere else, but they knew that I really wanted Pappasittos so they waited it out. (It was good for you, Brandi :>)

There is something about breaking bread together. It puts us all on equal ground. We feel free to laugh and truly enjoy each other.

Isn't it sweet that we have a God that encourages us to do just that?!?

Skeptic, Cynic, or Rebel

A friend loaned me a book to read. It is "Faith & Doubt" by John Ortberg.

I am sure you can tell by simply reading the title that it is a book that has held my attention.

This book has spoken to me right where I am....

I doubt.

However, Jesus will allow me to deal with doubt to be driven closer to Him.

-uncertainty adds humility to faith
-uncertainty causes us to learn
-uncertainty pushes us to seek truth
-uncertainty produces growth
(all of these are issues that Mr. Ortberg discusses in his book)

I was particularly interested in his definitions of a skeptic, cynic, and a rebel.
I think you will find that when it comes to faith...most of us fit into one of these categories.

Skeptic-I don't want to be wrong
I don't want to be hurt
I don't want to look like I'm one of the gullible ones.
Underneath the surface of the skeptic is fear-fear of being disappointed.
The skeptic says, "I would rather stand on the sidelines and look like an intelligent observer than risk trusting. I will forgo all that might come with that trust."

Cynic-Not so much looking for answers as offering conclusions
Offer conclusions that paint the world in a negative light
When facing a difficult decision, a moral responsibility, or an unpopular choice, cynics choose to wash their hands and conclude, "Whatever."
B/c of previous pain or disappointment, cynics make their conclusions about life before
the questions have even been asked.

Rebel-Someone who doesn't want to believe
Do not want the story of Jesus to be true
This desire goes so deep that it colors the way they look at every argument and every bit of evidence and makes sure they find a way not to believe.
Rebels are afraid of what would happen if they surrender themselves to God

At my best, I am a skeptic....at my worst, I am a rebellious cynical skeptic. Doubt that is left undone...undealt with...will turn you into one of these. I pray that my doubts force me to seek Truth. To seek Truth is to seek Him. To seek Him is to find Him. To find Him is to love Him. To love Him is to trust Him.

Which one are you??

(All of the info. in this entry is from the book...none of these thought are my own, except the prayer at the end). I am sure I have broken all the copyright laws so...I wanted to give credit to Mr. Ortberg.)

Happy Birthday

I am so blessed! Last night we continued a long standing tradition that we share with some of our best friends. We gather together for your birthday and you get to choose the menu. I chose pancakes, bacon, hashbrown casserole and a Dairy Queen cake.(can you guess who has the sweet tooth??)

The food and fellowship was wonderful. The last time we did this, we used our time to bless the food to go around the table and everyone got to pray a blessing for the birthday person. I absolutely loved it. I loved praying for my friend in front of them.

Well, last night they did that for me. So humbling!! To hear others pray for you and petition to God on your behalf for blessings, protection, favor, and thanksgiving was pretty awesome.

Have I mentioned I have amazing friends?

This morning I woke up to 3 wiggly giggly children in my bed. They were more excited about my birthday than me. Shep had gone to get me my favorite English Toffee coffee and a Martin's biscuit. He has arranged for me to have a really special day....I am too excited!

Father, thank you for 32 years of life. I love you so much but I want to love you more. Thank you for my family and the friends who are my family. Thank you for abounding grace that I live in every day. Please bless my home. Help me to be the wife, mother, and friend that honors you and leaves the fragrance of Jesus everywhere I go. Be Big in my life Lord....

Don't want to...

which probably means...I should.

The past week or so has been pretty victorious for me. I have been fed by God's word and nurtured by His presence.

Today should be no different.

But...it is.

Have I moved??

It is weird.

I don't feel like I have moved. But, because I know God hasn't inched away from me, I must have moved.

Shep and I have had several unexpected "bumps in the road" the past few days. You know what I mean...things you just could never see coming.

I am embarrassed to say that here I slide back down into some despair.

Is it really that easy?

After over a week of victory, can slipping back down seem this effortless??

YES!!!!

I just want easy.
I just want simple.
I just want fun.
I just want ....and want....and want....and want...

Anyway, these are the days that we wish we didn't have. For me...they come along too often. Putting it out there means I have to own it and call it what it is...pride...again.

I want my way....not His.

His way feels too hard, too heavy, too frustrating, too much to handle.

Is it??

I thought His yoke was easy and His burden was light. I am trying to learn how all of this works. How do I exchange my heaviness for His lightness and my difficulty for His ease.

Don't know...not sure.

Ps. 27:13-14
"I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.


2 Corinthians 4:15-18
"All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Lord, I don't understand these really yet I cling to them. I am weary. Forgive my pride and doubt...again. Help me live what these verses tell me to do. I don't know how. I feel like I fail so much I just want to quit while I am ahead. Show me Your ways. Encourage me with Your presence.

14 Months Ago

I was quite content being the mother of two amazing, beautiful, and very different little girls. I had no clue how much fuller and richer my life would be when Zeke entered our lives 14 months ago today. He has been a delight to all of us.

He smiles easily.

He sleeps good.

He eats pretty much anything.

and

He melts our hearts on a regular basis.

I just wanted to praise the One who blessed me with these children. I thank Him for pressing me to "have one more"....even when I thought I was done.

He knew how much joy and laughter Zeke would bring to us.

Somehow, it just seems complete!!

A Few Reasons to Smile

Shep was out of town this past weekend. I was flying solo from Thursday til Sunday. I must say that God was with me. For those of you who don't know me....I am afraid to stay by myself. Don't ask??

Lots of childhood issues dealing with fear and God is very much working with me to give them all to Him and be FREE of it.

Anyway, Shep was due to come home on Sunday. So, me and the kids went to his parents house on the farm. I took a few photos of us playing outside with some of our cousins.

Caroline and Granny had a great time snuggling on the swing.

Zeke looked edible in his way big Georgia football helmet.

Ava huddled in with me for a close-up shot. The others kids you see are my niece, Ella, and my nephew, Henry.

How cute, huh??

The weekend (alone) was pretty uneventful...except....I hit a deer.

Oh, it was awful. The sound of that terrible thud...I can't forget it soon enough. I had never hit a deer before and, of course, it had to happen while Shep was gone.

One highlight of the weekend was getting to sing to a group of kids helping out with Splash Bartow. Their praise and worship was contagious to say the least. If you want to see a picture of the kids during worship...go to Facebook and check it out on my profile. The picture will give you chills. It was taken from the balcony of the church. It is kind of fuzzy, but you just see the kids in full-out, unashamed praise.

So, now we are back to Monday. A new week...a new day...many new mercies from God's hand and I need them all.

Yesterday's message gripped my heart with conviction about witnessing to the lost world around me. I know God is moving me in the direction of seeking out those who I am to tell about Him.

I am asking Him to show me who.......

I am asking Him to guide me how.....

I am asking Him to tell me when....

Father God, thank you for empowering me this past weekend. I felt your Presence with me. Continue to show me that You are enough, that Your Word stands alone and that You have a plan for me each day. I am listening to whatever you have to say to me. Thank you for patiently working with me on contentment. Thank you for fueling my fire of faith. Thank you for giving me a hunger and a thirst after You alone.

Help me serve.....be Your arms and feet.
Help me not to be offended with others and offer much grace....
Continue to bless my family and raise up my children to love you....
I wait for You.
I believe You.
I trust You.

Freedom from floaties

The girls and I spent the afternoon at my parents' neighborhood pool. My mom was watching my niece and nephew and we thought it would be fun to get them all together.

This pool, mind you, is no ordinary neighborhood pool. It has an enormous slide, kid's play area, dumping buckets, slides, sprinklers, guns, basketball nets (in the pool), and many other amenities.

We had a great time.

Ava, who is four years old, is very interested in swimming. She has had no formal lessons, but she is willing to try and wants desperately to do it. She feels pretty confident in the shallow end, but the deep end always makes her ask for her "floaties".

She watched other children swim around in the deep water and she came and asked me if she could remove her floaties. I told her "no". She persisted in asking me several more times...so I relented and told her that she could remove them only to practice swimming to me.

She was very excited to do this.

She stood on the steps and told me to back up about 8 paces from her...and here she came.

I did nothing but stand there.

She just did it!!

I was amazed, shocked, and so proud. She was too!!
She repeated this over and over....until she saw a little girl turning flips under the water.

She said, "Mama, I want to do that".

I said, "O.k., I'll show you how."

Too late....she was already attempting it on her own. She didn't quite make it all the way around the first time, but she did it again and again and again.

Then, as if looking for something bigger and better, she started attempting back flips under water.

(Are you kidding me?? She had just been wearing floaties 15 minutes earlier?? Now she looked so at ease in the water....I was baffled. I had just witnessed her "getting it". She learned to swim right in front of me...on her own...and it was a beautiful sight.)

I couldn't help but just stand right beside her in the water and grin like any other goofy proud parent. I hadn't really done anything except...be there.

I was there to smile really BIG when she came out of the water.

I was there to offer her my body as something she could grab whenever she needed to.

I was just there to witness a BIG milestone for my little girl.

As I held her...I asked the Lord to help me remember each detail about this experience. It was so special.

She couldn't wait to tell everyone about her swimming...WITHOUT floaties. Her jumps, turns, twists, and flips were amazing to even her.

The Lord spoke to me even through this encounter...

-Ava had been convinced that she couldn't handle the water without her floaties. She feared the water. She knew the floaties would hold her up. However, she couldn't possibly enjoy the fullness of the pool with those floaties on. She couldn't flip, twist, or glide under the surface. She couldn't explore all that the pool offered. The floaties did just what they were designed to do....keep her afloat. They kept her head above water....

-Is that how I live my Christian life?? Do I walk around with my "safe" floaties on. Christ beckons us to take them off...to enjoy the fullness of this life experience. Instead we let our floaties immobilize us to the surface.

We miss out on the freedom of the water underneath...how it feels to do the twists and flips.

The sweet thing is Jesus knows we are a little freaked to learn to do this...so just like the doting parent...He is there. He is available to encourage us when we come up for air, he applauds us when we risk and learn to do new things, and he is accessible to grab when we feel we might be trapped below the surface.

I didn't mean to get super-spiritual but that is how God speaks to me. He uses my ordinary daily things to show me how He feels about me. I thought this one happened to be pretty special.

I knew how it felt to watch Ava learn, risk, and accomplish something she had feared. I was proud and excited for her in a big way.

I think the Lord, our daddy, delights in watching us do similar things.

He is currently watching me walk in the freedom from a fear that I have long battled. I can almost sense His giddiness as He watches me have victory. Isn't that why He died...

for freedom.

I believe nothing makes him happier than to see one of His babies take off their floaties of fear and enjoy freedom to the fullest!!