Clenched tight
my fist is closed.
Do I dare open up
and risk being exposed?
An open hand
means reaching a goal.
No more gripping, clasping,
or sense of control.
This place I know well
I've been here so long.
How do I live life
singing a new song?
I either trust or I don't
believe or doubt...
a clinched fist doesn't make
my faith more stout.
So....I am doing it
a little at a time
opening each finger
beginning the climb.
What I have held tight
in my fist for so long
I am offering to Jesus...
where it has always belonged.
Three different times God spoke to me about humility last week.
I am to stop being foolish, ridiculous, angry, and offended.
Once those things were addressed....I had nothing to hide behind.
So....the best I can...I am opening this hand of control. I have held my fist closed tight around "Caroline's healing" for 7 years. This isn't comfortable, but I know it is right.
I am trying to being Spirit lead...and live EACH DAY for itself.
I must tell you, my flesh feels like this is a death. Like I am somehow "giving up" on her healing.
However, I know that this is just yet another fun side of obedience. Not what I like....but what will PROVE to be good!
Pray hard for me. This is new ground.
May He guard me each step and encourage me at every turn. I know I need it.
4 comments:
1 Timothy 4:15
“Continue to do those things; give your life to doing them so your progress many be seen by everyone.”
Ephesians 3:14-19
“So I bow in prayer before the Father from whom every family in heaven and on earth gets its true name. I ask the Father in his great glory to give you the power to be strong inwardly through his Spirit. I pray that Christ will live in your hearts by faith and that your life will be strong in love and built on love. And I pray that you and all God’s holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ’s
Love; how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is. Christ’s love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with the fullness of God.”
Isaiah 43:18-19
“Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing.”
“If the leaves had not been let go to fall and wither, if the tree had not consented to be a skeleton for many months, there would be no new life rising, no bud, no flowers, no fruit, no seed and no new generation.”
Smiling as I watch you grow. You will do just fine.
You, Shep and your family are always in my prayers. It was such a blessing this past Thursday to get to spend some time with your sweet girl.
Steph
First of all, on a lighter note, your poem...cracking me up. I am so impressed with your rhyming abilities. Your man"s song singing is rubbing off of you. Seriously, I am so proud of you. I pray this new freedom will allow you to live and, even enjoy, where you are right now. You may be surprised how much your entire family will benefit from it! You may not realize it but God has had this in His hands the entire time. You, however, have just been gripping over the top of His hand only fooling yourself into thinking you had a hold on things. You will do great, and, if you happpen to need some help, that is where all of us come in...happy and ready to see you through! Not all days will be good, so do not be afraid to dump them on us. We feel honored to be your friends! Love, Mande
In some ways I am with you my daughter. When you hurt, I hurt.
I too am trying a new place. Thanks for your encouragement yesterday.
Today is a new day...for this is the day the Lord has made...and I will rejoice and be glad. I am so proud of you.
Mom
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